Right now, in order to take a break from Dracula, I'm reading 'the end of Mr.Y'
it's about (I'll try and keep this short) a woman who is studying weird authors and works at a university in England, and she is especially interested in this one author from the 1900s called lumas, and she finds his last book and everyone else who reads it has died. but guess what she does! does she decide to go back home and get a better job? does she burn the book? does she decide that her lieing, cheating, smoking, misstressing days are over and lead a happy and simple life? NO! she reads it. of course.
there's a point like that in almost every fiction book. when the main character goes down into the scary basement with the power out. and every time you say 'stupid! you're obviously walking into a bad situation! get away while you still can!'
this happens only in fiction. in real life there are very few creaky stairs, and almost no monsters waiting in the basement.but people still have impulses. people still do things that they regret. maybe the creaky staircase is just an exaggerated version of something that happens in our own minds. an impulse. a recklessness that everyone has.
but is it just an impulse? in the book, when the main character decides to read the book, it's a very conscious and thought out thing.it's not just an impulse. it's more of a... a last resort.
because in this book, as i am finding is the case with a lot of adult books, the main character is very depressed. she was really messed up as a kid, and hid from her crazy family in books. she spend most of her time reading, and doesn't really care about anything but her books. she feels like books are her life. some people are crazy old cat ladies, she's a crazy old book lady. and she's been looking for this book for a long time. i think that she feels like if she doesn't read it, her life would be meaningless. also, of course, she's really curious.
all of the things which i said above are parts of an impulse. you feel compelled to, no matter what the consequences are. but in a way it's more then an impulse. it's a choice.
like all the scary stories. like all the creaky staricases.
you choose to do it, but you know that you'll regret it if you don't. and so even though it's your choice, you have to.
EXACTLY! I know what you mean, it is like when you watch a movie you can see from a mile away that the main character is going to go down into the basement or walk towards the scary noise or the gun shots, where as if i heard gun shots i would RUN! Though i have had times like that when someone has said don't look this up or don't go in there, but when they say don't it feels as though i am compelled to look that up or go in there. Some (as you said) may call it stupidity though others call it curiosity. Why do you think we are always so curious about the things that we shouldn't do? Great post very thought provoking!
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